May 9, 2013

Soaking 101

 
I’ve been having an on-going conversation with the Lord about Truth. About how society feeds our minds and souls so much filthy trash. Asking Him to reveal what Truth is. And what lies I should extinguish out of my mind.

One lie in particular that I, as well as many other children, was feed is the old famous: “Sticks and stones my break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” What a lie from the pit of hell! Yes, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words may break my heart and that, my friend, is often much more difficult to mend. “But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men…” James 3:8,9. However, I don’t believe this lie is told to intentionally hurt us, but more to give a false sense of protection.  Well… how ‘bout that? Another lie! Let’s just lie to our kids to protect them. They won’t know the difference, right? Wrong!

That’s a story for another time. I’ll try to stay focused on my point here. You know how hard that is for me, right???? When I have so many voices talking in my head they all want to talk at once and I have to tell them, just as I tell the kids I nanny for, “Let’s not interrupt each other and take turns talking. I can’t hear you when everyone is talking at once.” Hopefully the voices in my head will grasp that concept some day. Fingers crossed.

I diverted. Back to the point. Soaking.

So I received this revelation a few weeks ago. Part of my conversation about Truth is where to find it and how to apply it to my life. I was cleaning my make up brush in which I use a special cleanser. I was grinding it fairly harshly (careful not to damage the bristles) to get the excessive residue off of my brush in an attempt to prevent/remove bacteria build up. After several rounds of spritzing cleanser on the brush, grinding the brush ever so gently in the palm of my hand, rinsing with water, watching all of the unused foundation wash out of the brush, and repeating until the water was more on the clean side than dirty side I realized this was not working. The water was not getting clean. There was so much build up in my brush that no amount of washing and grinding and rinsing was getting the make up out of the brush completely. But I wanted a clean brush to remove the potential for bacteria build up which would not be good for my skin. Since this repetition of spritz, grind, and rinse was not working it was obvious to me that I had gone too long without cleaning the brush and allowed the dirt to build up for entirely too long. I decided to pour some of the cleanser in a small cup and let the brush sit and just soak for a while. That way the cleanser could go deep in the brush and do it’s job.

That’s when the light bulb came on! I realized that I have allowed so many lies to build up in my soul that I am going to have to sit and soak in His Truth. Concentrated Truth. Not watered down by someone else or society. Straight from the source! If I had added water to the cleaning solution for my brush it would not have worked as well and taken longer to remove the buildup. You see, as long as we listen to the lies that society feeds us, bacteria will build up in our minds which is not healthy for our souls. We must keep them clean and clear of all lies in order to successfully seek His face and share His love. And this must be done on a regular basis or “clean up” has the potential to get pretty messy.

So then…. This sparked another conversation. What exactly is soaking. I’ll get to that next. Hang tight.

April 27, 2013

Worn


The lyrics to this song, Worn by Tenth Avenue North, describe almost to a T where my heart and soul has been stuck recently.

I'm tired
I'm worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing

I've made mistakes
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Cause I'm worn

I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I'm too week
Life just won't let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Cause I'm worn

And my prayers are wearing thin
I'm worn even before the day begins
I'm worn I've lost my will to fight
I'm worn so heaven so come and fluid my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Yes all that's dead inside will be reborn
Though I'm worn
Yeah I'm worn

Yes. This hit the nail on the head.

My heart is heavy for the starving souls of this place. My soul feels crushed by the weight of this world.

I know what I need to do. I must turn to the Ultimate Strength Giver. But I’m just too tired to hardly even turn my eyes up. Thankfully when I can’t, He does it for me. And here’s the ultimate line: I’m worn even before the day begins. What a terrible place to be you may think. Perhaps… And perhaps not. Perhaps its exactly where He wanted to put me in order to reveal Truth.

However, there is good news!! I have received a word from the Lord about just soaking in his Truth. What exactly does soaking mean? Why do I need to soak? Why can’t I just wash in His Truth?

I’ll share that with ya soon! Check back shortly.

April 15, 2013

Adult Truths


I’m coming back. I promise. It’s just going to take me a bit to get all my stories together. I’ve been getting a lot of Truth Revelations lately.

 
In the meantime, here are some Adult Truths that will probably make you laugh:

 
  1. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
  2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
  3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to take a nap when I was younger.
  4. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
  5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
  6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
  7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
  8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
  9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind-of tired.
  10. Bad decisions make good stories.
  11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive the rest of the day.
  12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection… again.
  13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of a Word document and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
  14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
  15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
  16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with “Miller Lite” than “Kay”.
  17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
  18. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
  19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters.
  20. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Jeans? Jeans never get dirty; and you can wear them forever.
  21. Even under the ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket; finding their cell phone; and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey… but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
  22. The first testicular guard, the “Cup”, was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it took only 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

August 7, 2012

He Changes Everything




"Because when you're wildly in love with someone , it changes everything."

EVERYTHING      

- Francis  Chan

Yea- that pretty much sums it up. More later

July 16, 2012

Adjusting the Radio



Once again…. It’s been too long and I’m not going to waste my time or yours trying to play catch up so I’ll jump right in. But… I will take back the comment earlier about being desperate for Him to take me out of my comfort zone. Funny how He answers your prayers as long as they are aligned with His will!!

I’ve found myself adjusting my radio lately. No, not the radio in my car… However, I sometimes do that too. And if you know me at all, you know that I get most of my epiphanies in the car so I can see how you would think that way. Oh, and don’t let me forget to tell you about the latest car conversation. Sorry- this is the ADD setting in so I’ll get back on track with the first story. Like I said… it was not the car radio. This time, however, it has been my life radio. I have had WAY too much static trying to take over and get me distracted. Well, ok. Maybe it did take over and get me distracted. But only for a little while. It may seem like longer to you since I haven’t been on here much lately, but I promise it didn’t take me that long to get back on track. I’ll be the first to admit that I still get off track, but I think I’m getting better about finding my way back more quickly than I used to. Hopefully, anyway…

So yes. Imagine that. Static in your life trying to take over and get you off track.  It’s not been the most pleasant thing to experience. You know how annoying it is to have the radio on and then the static starts to take over?!?! I hate it when that happens! But I knew what was going on. And I knew that I was starting to forget to look for the blessings in the day to day daily grind. They say that’s the first step to recovery, right? Admitting that you have a problem? Well, I’ve admitted it and I was screaming: “Captain, we have a problem!! A big problem!” And guess what?!?! He told me that I knew what I needed to do to fix it. That’s right. I just had to get back to looking for the blessings in the good and the bad and the pretty and the ugly. Sometimes I forget to do that. Now there are times that I’ve been good at it, but until recently it had not been the most natural thing to do. It came when I started reading this book; One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I’ll tell ya more about that later.
 
Hang tight and I’ll share the down load I got while I was at the beach a few weeks ago. FYI… It’s amazing what you can hear when you take the time to retune your radio and get rid of the static.

March 1, 2012

Desperate

“Desperation is the raw material of drastic change. Only those who can leave behind everything they have ever believed in can hope to escape.”
- William Burroughs

I find myself desperately banging on the doors of heaven. Desperate for change. Desperate for the old mundane to be turned into the extraordinary. Desperate for His healing hand to reach out and heal my broken places. Desperate to live in a way where only His love and affection and provision will fulfill.

I am desperate to live in a place where only He can fulfill my needs, desires, and gut wrenching heartbreaks. Desperate for Him to awaken my soul where my very existence is dependent upon Him to show up.

Desperate for Him to take me out of my comfort zone so that I can feel the comfort of the Ultimate Comforter and the tender love and mercy of the Ultimate Lover of my soul.

I am desperate for more. I can feel His very presence and I want more. I never want Him to leave and I am craving his affection more and more. I see His blessings pour out and I never want them to die.

Dear Lord, I thank you for Your blessings and grace and love and mercy on me. I thank you even more that you share these affections when I am so undeserving. I pray that you would give me a desperate heart for change. For more of you. A desperation to seek Your truth and love. A desperation to leave behind all the lies I have ever believed and ingrained in my head that society will so freely feed me. I am desperate to walk in Your truth and light. I know that we cannot have light without having darkness and I pray that You would give me the strength to press on in the dark days until I see Your light. And then when I see your light, to not stop pressing, but to press for more of your light and share it with others. Amen.

February 6, 2012

Don't Forget

I'm still struggling.

But it's amazing how blessed I am even in my struggles.

How alone you can feel even when you are more surrounded than you have been in a long time.

I received this message tonight: "Don't forget to thank Him for right where you are today... Because He is with you."

Again, stay tuned for more later.