The Irony of It All

So, I sit here and reflect on everything that God has provided for me, specifically in the last six months, and am dumbfounded on just one of my many epiphanies as I like to call it when the light bulb comes on in the room upstairs. Hold on for this one; it may just very well blow your socks off. Here it is: The more 'history' I have with Him- that is the more I see that He really does what He says He will do, the more I love Him and want to seek His will and honor and glorify His great name! Not rocket science; I know. You build that trust with someone the more they give you the opportunity to put your trust in them and you see they won't let you down. And how is that ironic you may ask yourself. Well, you see; the irony of it all comes when the other epiphany hits and I realize that HE does not have to have a 'history' with me to have the desire to give me what is His best. He wants to give it to me and does it out of His grace even when His 'history' with me is not 100%. If He did it because He had a history with me and I was as faithful to Him as He is to me, I would never experience His many and wonderful provisions He so graciously gives.

As the chorus in Kari Jobe's song, You Are For Me, states:

"Lord, I know that You are for me; I know that You are for me.
I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness.

I know that You have come now, even if to write upon my heart.

To remind me of who You are."

I find myself clinging to the part where it says that He will never forsake me in my weakness. I know I'm gonna screw things up again, and I will for sure go through another drought and drift from His stream of living water. BUT, He says he will for sure be there with me holding me up through that weakness I have.

I'm still working on putting the post together about how God has and is providing so stay tuned, but I wanted to share my epiphany real quick with ya.

Be back soon

He is Listening

“Now this is the confidence that we have in Him,
that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.
And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask,
we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.”
I John 5:14-15

My aunt reminded me today that we are just 3 ½ months away from Christmas! Yes, Christmas I said! As we draw near to the end of yet another year, I can’t help but reflect over the last 9 months and be awestruck by my awesome God’s faithfulness. I don’t think that I have ever had a year that had so many bad and good things that happened all at once and the year is not even over yet. Indeed, all things work together for good!!

I mentioned in an earlier post that I’d post in bits and pieces what all He was doing and once again, I have let more time pass than I would have preferred. But I’m gonna try and get a big picture recap in here as best I can. Here goes.

For those of you that want a quick bird’s eye view… Here’s how it all went down:
January- I left the corporate world and reduced my salary greatly.
February- I started my dream job of Nanning for a family.
March- I called off my wedding set for June.
June- I went on an amazing family vacation with the ENTIRE family.
July- I ended my dream job and entered back into the corporate world times two.
August- I was informed that my mom has been diagnosed with a liver disease with an unknown prognosis

And now for those of you that would like the details…
In January I left a pretty stable job (considering the state of the economy) in an effort to pursue the non-corporate lifestyle and begin my dream job of Nanning for a family. Well, maybe not dream job… because the dream would be for it to be my family, but it got me as close to that as I could get at the time. Just months later, I made the decision (or better stated it was revealed to me that it would be best ) to cancel my wedding that was set to take place in June. Call me crazy; and yes to outsiders it would seem to be not the smartest decision in the world considering I had just reduced my salary drastically with the career change and had no guarantee of re-entering the corporate world anytime soon. On March 5, however, I had an encounter with God like I had never experienced before. Did you know that all you have to do is ask and He will answer??? Let me say that again to make sure you got what I’m saying. ALL you have to do if you are a child of God is ASK your Father for what you need and He will GLADLY provide!! In my 23 years of being a believer, I was the Dumb A that had the resources and did not use them as they were intended. That is… until I was at a desperation that I had never experienced before. On that night, I had a conversation with God that I had never had before. We conversed for hours and as usual I would fight against what I knew was His truth. It was in this extreme desperation that I begged and pleaded Him to reveal the truth and if He did just that, I promised Him I would do whatever He wanted me to do.

During this time and for many months to come and even still to this day I ask Him to never let me be stupid enough to let Him leave my side again. Just a couple days later, the decision was made final and we proceeded with canceling the wedding contracts and lost many, many thousands of dollars. Naturally, some days were better than others and I would have to bring myself back to that night when I had my encounter with Him and would again ask Him to be my provider.

What?!?! Provide??? Who am I to think that He will not provide now when He has always provided before and even provided when I have not asked Him to??? Stay tuned to see how He has been providing in more ways than one the last several months.