"What happened to the corporate world?!?!"

Once again I am reminded that I have not shared about the family that I nanny for. I promise that will be my next entry, but for now… here’s some humor for you:

Several months ago I decided to step out of the corporate world. I weighed the pros and cons of such a decision: a more flexible schedule, a more relaxed atmosphere, more time to finish planning the (canceled) wedding and enjoy being a newlywed (not…), and so forth. However, I did not take into account that my beloved sister would be affected by this decision. Well, it just so happens that she brought this to my attention this afternoon.

As you can imagine, it is not uncommon for me and Peyton Anne to share clothes. And this afternoon is no exception… Peyton Anne was getting ready to go out with some friends and just like she has before, she asked me if she could wear one of my shirts (well… usually she won’t ask- I will go to get something and not be able to find it until I search her room, but that is beside the point). I asked her if she was talking about the one that I was currently wearing and she said yes. I proceeded to remind her that I had been working and sweating in it all day and asked her if she still wanted it. She wanted to know what exactly I had done so I did not hesitate to tell her that we did chores this morning which included sweeping the front porch, we played kick ball, we jumped on the trampoline, I rescued a baby rabbit from the cat (well, not rescued because it was dead), and held a sick baby. Did she still want to wear the shirt off my back? I’ll let you make an educated guess and figure that out yourself.

After our short conversation, she marched off and mumbled under her breath loud enough for me to hear, “What happened to the corporate world?!?!” Don’t lie. You know you’ve done it. Gotten home from a day at the office and taken your pants or shirt (or both for that matter) off and hung them back in the closet because they just were not dirty enough to constitute a wash in the washing machine just yet. I know when I was in the corporate world I could usually get a couple of wears out of a pair of pants or a shirt unless it was a day of craziness where I was running around all day and just would not be able to contaminate the clean clothes in my closet with the ones on my back. THEN and only then would they be thrown in the dirty laundry basket for a good wash’n!

Now that I am out of the “corporate world” and getting my hands physically dirty most days at my new job- 99% of the time I end up washing my clothes after every wear. Although this is something I did not consider before making the decision to leave the corporate world, I do not consider it a con- at least not in my world anyway. However, my sister has a different perspective because now she must plan ahead and plan to wear my clothes when she is sure they will be clean… Sorry Sis, but this is the price you pay for having an extended wardrobe! Love ya!

Hide Your Heart

Here's a quote I found today that I love:

"Girls should hide their heart in God so that boys have to go there to find them!"

Demanding Dentists

Is it really that common for people to dread going to the dentist? Personally, I have never had that fear that some folks talk about. In fact, I am on the opposite end of the spectrum- I find it quite humorous. Here’s why: I have always asked myself, “Why do dentists ask you questions when they are working in your mouth and you can’t answer them?” It has always been frustrating to me but funny at the same time when the dentist is asking me a question and I obviously cannot answer him.

For the most part, my experience today at the orthodontist office was no different than I expected. I knew I was going to go in and have a procedure to glue my retainer back in place and I knew he would be asking me a million questions, as he usually does, that I could not answer (due to the fact that his hands are in my mouth working when he asks). But, where the experience was a little different today was when he started asking questions and I knew my answer was going to create more questions for him to ask that I would not be able to answer. Today… well, we’ll just say was just about too much for me to bear.

Picture this: I'm sitting in the chair with my mouth stuffed full of cotton so he can glue my retainer back in place. The conversation (and my nodding) goes like this: He asks me if life is treating me well so I nod a simple yes. Then he asks me if I'm getting married soon. I shake my head no and this is when the laughter begins to build up inside of me only because I know this is going to lead to more questions that I will not be able to answer. He responds with, "Hmmmm... I don't know why I thought you were getting married. Are you dating someone?" Again, I shake my head no as a chuckle begins to seep through. He says, "Well, were you dating someone?" I nod my head yes. And then he said, "What'd you do, kick him to the curb?" It was all I could do to keep from losing my composure and bust out in laughter (never mind this man is gluing my teeth and a mishap could result in him possibly gluing my mouth shut) but I nodded a simple yes and we both chuckled. Finally, all the debris was removed from my mouth and I quickly informed him that he had not lost his mind- Yes, I was engaged to be married and the wedding was called off, blah, blah, blah. Much like I have explained before. But hey, at least I can get some laughter out of it in this situation, right? The conversation continued, but I won't bore you with the details. But really- next time you are at the dentist take note if he is asking you questions that he is very much aware you can't answer because his hands are in your mouth.

Perhaps this is why I don’t fear going to the dentist like some people do… I’ve never had a traumatic experience. Although, I usually come out with a story to tell, much of the time they are usually pretty humorous. Gotta love our question demanding dentists when they have their hands in our mouth!!

Beautiful Mess

I heard Amy Grant’s “Better Than a Hallelujah” on the radio yesterday morning.

God loves a lullaby
In a mother’s tears in the dead of night
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes

God loves the drunkard’s cry
The soldier’s plea not to let him die
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful, the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

The woman holding on for life
The dying man giving up the fight
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes

The tears of shame for what’s been done
The silence when the words won’t come
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful, the mess we are
The hones cry of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

Better than a church bell ringing
Better than a choir singing out, singing out

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful, the mess we are
The honest cry of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

The words of this song hit hard with me. I’m finally coming out of my ‘this is all a bad dream’ phase and understanding that God is really teaching something to me at this stage in life. I know it is a great thing to praise Him in the good times, but I think what this song is saying is that what He really wants is for me to come to Him as my true self. He knows that we have needs and He desires for us to bring those needs and surrender them at His feet in all of the crazy mess that we are. I think Amy Grant sums it up pretty well: “I’ve loved this song since I first heard it. The honesty and vulnerability of the lyric reminds me that to pray means to come as I am, imperfections and all, because ultimately, God seeks communion with us, the real us… and that’s freeing.” I’m thinking that He finds it more beautiful than praise when I truly and honestly pour out my deepest desires simply because it gives me a chance to be completely intimate and vulnerable with Him. The words in black and white simply don’t do this song justice. Take a listen to it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nMvvoXa9Yk

Just Give Me Sleep

Ok, God. I really don't like it when you give me so much to think about that I can't sleep. I'm just say'n outloud what you already know. So for now, all I'm asking for is sleep. Just give me some sleep and we can talk tomorrow. Much appreciation, Elizabeth

Perfectly Placed and Then Washed Away

What an amazing weekend! I was able to spend time with friends, hang out with the fam, get a few things done around the house, and even take some time for myself. It makes for a good start to the week when I know I was able to invest some time in others and even work in some time for myself.

Part of my time this weekend was spent working in the flower bed with my little brother and sister. Us kids promised mom that we’d get the flower bed weeded and fixed up for her for Mother’s Day. Saturday morning Peyton Anne and I got up and went to the store to get some dirt. We came home and Russell helped us unload it from the car. We each had our own little area that we were working on. I was digging up the weeds and spreading the new dirt, Peyton Anne was trimming the bushes, and Russell was removing the old dirt and brush with the tractor. Note- In order for Russell to have any desire to help us with this project we have to find a way for him to use the tractor. Guys and their toys… Hehehe. By lunch time all of the dirt had been spread and the bushes were shaping up. Peyton Anne and I stepped back to admire our hard work and low and behold we look down at the bottom of the driveway only to see that Russell is tipping backward on the tractor. For a minute panic sets in, but quickly we run to his rescue. In all of his glee in playing with his big boy toy, he had backed the tractor too far off the edge of the driveway to dump the brush and it was tipping with him. We hollered for him to stop and he got off. After Russell was safe, we all stepped back to determine the best way to solve the problem. Russell determined that it would be best to pull it out with another tractor we had. In the end, we all ended up safe and the tractors were safely put away. All in perfect timing for the rain to set in for the rest of the day. We moved inside to do some house work and ended the evening having dinner with our grandmother. What a nice Saturday!

Sunday was even better! Spent Sunday morning in a wonderful sermon by Brother Doug and had one of my favorite spring/summer lunches (bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich) at home. After the parents arrived home that afternoon, we again admired our hard work in the flower bed with them. The afternoon was spent making some delicious brownies and then off to the mall with the sister for some retail therapy (window shopping therapy of course). The evening concluded with a nice hot bubble bath and suddenly I felt ready to conquer the week that lied ahead of me.

Monday morning came all too soon, but I got up refreshed and ready to conquer the day. Only to see when I walked out the door and down the sidewalk that the flower bed we had worked so diligently on just a few days before was washing away from the downpour of rain the night before. The new dirt that had been so perfectly placed in the flowerbed had now been washed onto the sidewalk. I suddenly felt a rush of disappointment fall over me. The good feeling of working so hard with my siblings to get the flowerbed set up just perfectly for our mom was gone in just a matter of seconds.

Just as suddenly as I felt that disappointment, I had a visual of how disappointed and saddened my Heavenly Father must feel at times with me. How often does He so perfectly plan and place things in my life that I all too frequently wash away and destroy it in just a matter of minutes? It was then I remembered that my Father has feelings too- feelings toward me that I can’t even begin to comprehend. Someone I know put it in perspective for me around Easter time. She said that she wanted to think of the crucifixion story differently this year. She wanted to be able “feel it and believe it like it happened to someone I know.” What? Jesus is someone we know… But she said she does not think of Him like she does her boyfriend. If her boyfriend had to endure what Christ endured on the cross for us then she would be devastated. Jesus longs for us to feel this way! It is His heart’s desire for us to desire Him as much as He desires us. I think about it like this: I get up in the mornings and usually get ready in the bathroom with my sister. We often talk about the day’s events that will take place or what happened the day before. We fellowship and communicate with each other before we go our separate ways for the day. How would she feel and for that matter, how would I feel if we did not talk in the mornings? She would probably be saddened or upset if I didn’t talk to her and I wouldn’t feel so great about it either. Jesus is the same way. He longs to have that conversation with me each and every day. And the difference with Him is that He does go with me everywhere, unlike my family and friends. So there should be no excuse for me not to have that conversation with Him throughout the day. I don’t want to wash away any of those opportunities that He has so perfectly placed in front of me anymore. I’m not going to say that it won’t ever happen again, but I’m sure going to try and do it less frequently because I know how that disappointment feels and I sure don’t want Him to feel that way.